Fear of Birth
Fear -> Tension -> Pain
One would think people have little to fear in birth, between healthcare and the natural process. But, the way we’re thinking about birth, the fear that surrounds it, is turning off the natural process of labor and making it more difficult. I invite you to think for a moment about how you feel birth. How does your body respond? Sweaty? Tension in your shoulders or neck? Increased heart rate? A sense of peace? Deep even breathing?
Fear of birth creates tension in birthing muscles and this tension causes pain in those muscles. When this happens and one thinks “oh I knew it would be super painful,” it continues the fear, then the tension and pain.
Where Did the Fear-of-Birth Epidemic Come From?
Fear of birth is not instinctual. Humans are born with only two instinctual fears: falling and loud noises. Everything else is conditioned. So, where were we conditioned to fear birth?
Friends
Family
TV & Movies
Social Media
Books
It’s in the stories we hear, the stories passed down. It’s when a stranger wants to share and possibly exaggerate the troubles they went through in their own birth. It’s in Facebook groups, Instagram and TikTok. It’s on TV; constantly someone in labor screaming on their back swearing at their partner.
One of the most unethical studies ever done proved the conditioned of fear on a baby. The baby was shown a mouse accompanied by a loud noise. The baby showed curiosity in the mouse until the loud noise (one of two instinctual fears). Over time, the baby became terrified of the mouse. This had life long effects on the individual and shows how we are conditioned to fear, and how this fear can become trauma.
The Hebbian Theory
What fires together wires together.
The more often someone thinks repetitive thoughts, the sooner it becomes automatic thinking. This goes in both a positive and negative direction. If one continues to think about how they’re afraid of birth, or of having a cesarean, or of pain, it will become automatic and sit in the subconscious part of the brain (where we live on auto pilot, where our habits reside, were our personal beliefs live, where the brain works to protect us). It becomes ingrained in us.
Did you know the brain can’t tell between what is real and what is vividly imagined? When one thinks negative thoughts and imagines worst case scenarios, the body makes stress hormones. These aren’t the hormones one wants in labor, though. You want good hormones, hormones that decrease fear, and eliminate the fear, tension, pain cycle.
How do we change?
By paying attention to the thoughts we’re having. Slowing down and listening to how our body reacts. This is called mindfulness, and it takes a lot of practice! Don’t expect it to change your thoughts or feelings after only a few days. It’s an ongoing process.
When you have a thought about birth, what is your reaction to those thoughts? Listen to your body. Tense? Sweaty? Cheeks hot? Squeezing fists? Increased Heart Rate? You can't change your thoughts or reactions unless you recognize how your body reacts. Your mind has already decided how to react to the thought before you notice, so you need to recognize it afterwards to help counter it in the future. We live in autopilot, it’s really hard to step back and work on our repetitive thoughts and therefore change how our body is reacting to the thoughts we’re having. When you have a negative thought, try to switch it to a positive one. It doesn’t have to be huge or even birth related. Think of a favorite food, the last time you laughed, etc. Keep practicing. Keep being mindful.